Two-thirds of students will consider suicide by the end of high school. Young people who attempt suicide or consider suicide as an option are more likely to disclose their suicidal thoughts to a peer rather than to an adult.
Story 165
I grew up in a large family. My father was strict but loving. My mother was very ill. It was a difficult childhood, to be sure, but my father always tried his best and it is to him I attribute any successes my siblings and I may have.
I cannot remember a time when I did not lie in bed and weep. Praying for death. Emotionally hurt and broken since I can remember.
As a very young child of about 3 or 4 I had been raped by a family 'friend'. I never told.
Certainly from outward appearances no-one would have guessed this. I was beautiful and popular in my youth.
I struggled with relationships and had a few good ones amid the bad. Once, in between jobs (I was renting a room) I decided it wasn’t worth it anymore.
“Who would care if I just ended?” I thought. I serve no purpose in life at all. “I am a waste of air and space,” I speculated.
I took a bottle of aspirin that night. Waited for the pain of my life to be lifted.
I panicked and tried to induce vomiting and I couldn’t ..I decided it was a sign.
I fell into a deep sleep. I dreamt of a wicked afterlife. I heard a voice calling me back.
I don’t know who that could’ve been but I awoke late in the morning. Aching all over, I crawled to the phone and called myself in “sick" to work.
I knew I must have some kind of purpose to have survived. I never told anyone.
It is years later. I am married and have a child (I often think she was the sole reason that I lived that night). We have a nice little home and a quiet life. None of this would be possible if I had "taken my life" when I was still so young. Although I had tried it, it was not 'meant to be'. So now I embrace life. Yes, sometimes it’s difficult. It’s not always what you signed up for, but it is good if you give it a chance.
The only thing I gained by my close experience with death was an empathy for those I see struggling around me. I am always an ear and I hope in some small way a chance to find a way back.